Has your relationship lost its intimacy? Do you feel more like roommates than lovers? Has time taken its toll and found you in the middle of relationship “hum-drum”? You have a give and take of the nice-i-ties without the thrill. Are you on the relationship hamster wheel of sameness and desperately want to rekindle a glowing spark?
First of all, don’t beat yourself or your partner up—this is a common pattern as couples become entwined in each others lives. Love usually deepens as sparky feelings may decline. Your relationship isn’t necessarily in trouble, you just need a jump start.
Here are some tips to jump-start your relationship:
1. Get new bedding. Don’t skimp. Go as sensuously as you can find. Pick something you both will like and find soothing, pleasing, and most of all inviting.
2. Redecorate your bedroom making it into your special retreat, your special love nest, your place for intimacy.
3. Decide to rekindle by dating again. Make time for each other and do special things together that help you fall back into lust again. Have special times when it’s just the two of you without interference from others. Relive some of your great dates and make some new history together. Decide on some ground rules and make sure you concentrate solely on each other.
4. Write love letters to each other regularly.
5. Declare a day of love, when you don’t talk mundane life details, you concentrate on love talk and love gratitude.
6. Groom each other. Bath each other. Massage each other. Touch each other.
7. Spend a day with no words, only touches, looks, and pleasure.
8. Go on a personal retreat. This can even be in your own town. Just get out of your normal routine and spend time together.
9. Go for a walk and hold hands. Public displays of affection are highly encouraged.
10. Laugh together. Retell old stories, new jokes, and special understandings. There’s nothing like laughter to bond the romance.
11. Relive a big event in your relationship like a trip or a special day and renew your commitment to each other.
12. Spend a day with unexpected kissing. Kiss at least 10 times and hold it for at least 20 seconds. Build urgency.
13. Make it a point to put your hands on each other whenever you are near. You don’t have to talk you just need to touch. It can be any kind of touch, not necessarily sexual. Touch is such an authentic way to ooze love.
14. Dance together often.
15. Tell each other as explicitly as possible what you love about each other and how you feel.
16. Anticipate each others needs without a desire for payback or reciprocity.
17. Forget about the frailty of people and live with the understanding that despite your lover being human: you worship them, they are your hero or goddess, and they are the most special part of you. Live in awe of your bond. And treat it with the honor and specialness it deserves.
18. Get rid of all the other people interfering in your relationship: family, friends, work, etc. No one knows you and your partner like you two do. Honor your bond and do not allow others to penetrate sacred areas of influence. Keep your priorities with your relationship.
Relationships need to be nurtured. Often as our lives get busy we put our relationships on hold and take care of others first. We also allow daily stresses and difficulties to blend into our beds. We begin to feel unloved, taken for granted, and unfulfilled. Love doesn’t nurture itself and needs to be on your life’s priority list regardless of how long you have been together.
Live your dreams,